Spooge Vampires Bitten On The Bum

A delicious tale of spoofery and angst reaches me from The World Of Spooge. The normally reliable Beernews.org site carried news of a beer launch from the well-regarded and ticker-targeted Captain Lawrence brewery of Pleasantville NY. Reading from a press release purportedly from founder Scott Vaccaro, the site informed readers of the launch of several highly-desirable beers.

The 'news' was posted on Beer Advocate, where the trading forum vibrated into action. A few members with functioning cerebella smelled a rat and wondered why they hadn't seen the info, since they are on the brewery email list. Their voices were drowned out as the Vampires worked out how to corner the market in the precious nectar. Some bleated about the scheduling, complaining they had other spooge to hunt. Then, later the same day, word came down that it was all a hoax. Vaccaro had seen the info late in the day and passed word that it wasn't true. Beernews.org published a correction and apology, and BA admins locked down the thread before anybody exploded with anticipation.

All well and good? Well, not quite. The Ladies Of Craft Beer pondered a while and concluded that Captain Lawrence are somehow culpable because they don't have anybody scanning the social media interwebs 24 hours a day. Instead of just accepting somebody perpetrated a clever hoax that got a lot of knickers bunched, there has to be an inquest.

You want an inquest? The often despicable behaviour of these people in their single-minded pursuit of eBay and trading fodder continues to be hothoused by the online beer communities providing them with trading fora. They have become predictable in their greed, and eventually, somebody was bound to dupe them. To claim that a brewer has some complicity because he isn't baby-sitting a bunch of avaricious numbskulls instead of trying to run his business is to offer excuses for shallow greed and disrespect for beer. The Vampires scored big last month when they cleaned Russian River out of commemorative beer in 24 hours, this month they've been made to look stupid. Get over it.

Here's to the next stunt!

The Curious Case Of The Beer That Never Was...

One of the things I like about many US brewers is their sense of place and their support for the communities they sell beer in. Not just by the act of brewing and selling beer, but by embedding themselves in the life of the community.

So it is that, each October, Russian River Brewing Co of Santa Rosa CA, supports Breast Cancer Awareness Month by raising money for a local womens' health centre in Santa Rosa. Parade floats, sales of special "All Hopped Up For The Cure" merchandise, raffles and sales of beer. Last year, they wrote a cheque for $12,000, and hope to beat that for 2010.

As it turns out, they already put $3,000 in the kitty, but nobody is jumping up and down too much. RRBC brewed a small batch of beer (supposedly based on their Beatification ale), oak-aged for 6 months with raspberries. "Framboise For The Cure" was released at their pub on Thursday, but before they could announce it officially, the Spooge Vampires got wind. The lovely and fragrant Natalie Cilurzo takes up the tale on RRBC's blog:

I will admit, I am a little bummed that someone posted it on Beer Advocate before lunch yesterday and all 23 cases were snatched up in less than 24 hours.

From Beer Advocate, I learned that people were frantically calling local contacts to help them obtain the beer. Seems like our friends the mules were also in evidence to help the greedy buggers get around the '2 bottles per person' limit RRBC set to ensure fair availability.

I'm happy that RRBC sold all that beer and put a nice wedge into the fundraising kitty. What annoys me is the behaviour of these sad gits every time a limited-edition beer is released, even when it's for a worthy cause. HateBeer and BA trading forums are now glowing with traffic generated by this, with some traders self-righteously patting themselves on the back for supporting such a good cause. No doubt some of this beer will wind up on eBay selling for multiples of the $12 retail price, and bottles will be traded back and forth. After all, with only 276 bottles brewed, it's uber-rare. I don't suppose any of the profiteers will think of making a donation to the cause.

I'll leave the final word to Natalie:

And to those who did get a couple bottles, please drink it humbly with friends and family in honor and memory of the survivors and especially the ones who lost the good fight.

Fat chance.

Pic above by Mario Rubio